Family rules are positive statements about how your family wants to look after and treat its members. Rules are helpful in making every member get along better, guide the family values and be in harmony at all times. Family rules are meant for every member of the household- from the parents down to the children. It enhances responsibility and guides each member along the set path.
Family rules will differ from one family to another depending on the belief, structure, class, and environment of the family. When setting family rules, it is pertinent to involve all members of the family. Every member must contribute inputs and have a say in setting the rules. Involving your child in creating both the family rules and the consequences for breaking those helps her understands and readily accepts them.
It is also vital to write these agreed rules down and stick in a conspicuous place where all members can easily see it. This serves as a constant reminder and helps prevent argument in the case of breaking them. Rules could be in the form of ‘dos’ and ‘don’t’ statements such as always speak in a polite manner, be gentle with one another, don’t talk while eating, don’t fight at home and in public.
Here are 4 steps to guide you in developing your own family rules
1. Identify the family rules: Each family is unique, so do not try to import rules from another household. The fact that some set of rules are working for a particular family does not guarantee that it will work for yours. Set your own rules according to the deep-rooted belief, principles, cultural heritage and structure of your own family.
2. Explain the rules: Family rules should be simple and easy to understand for all its members. Each agreed rules should be clarified in simple terms followed by its consequence. For instance, a rule could be that nobody should talk while eating. You must explain the reason why talking and eating at the same time is dangerous. Aside from the fact that it is a simply bad manner to speak with a loaded mouth, it could also lead to choking. Knowing why each rule is made will make it easy for young ones to readily accept it without much fuss.
3. Follow the rules: What is the purpose of making rules if it will not be followed? Parents should lead by example and ensured all agreed rules are promptly followed on a daily basis. Labeled praise should be used as soon as you notice your child’s compliance to a specific rule.
4. Use consequences for non-conformity: Parents have the sole responsibility to enforce the rules and in the case of non-conformity should mete out the necessary punishment. There should be no hesitation or delay when rules are broken. However, it should be noted that the consequence for each broken rule should not harm the child psychologically or physically. The main purpose of the consequence is to correct and help improve his awareness and overall behavior. Therefore, the use of severe punishment or in extreme cases, flogging should be totally discouraged.